Kink, an integral part of the erotic imagination took on added significance during the mid 80s, the height of the A.I.D.S. crisis. Activities of role-play that included bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, in which body fluids could be controlled, seemed a form of safer sex. Folx took more interest in the mind and imagination as essential erogenous zones. Venues that catered to BDSM afficionados increased in popularity. AIDS was horrendous but it opened up much needed discussions about sex, and seeds of activism were engendered at play parties. In NY, Hellfire a pioneer BDSM club with a foreboding name in the meatpacking district had prospered. Others followed. Another club arrived with a fun, funny name that showed promise and I was intrigued. So, I set out to discover more about “Paddles, the friendly S/M Club.”
(Adam, 1985)
“Excuse me mistress, may I lick the soles of your shoes?”
As politely as if he is about to ask me to dance, a completely naked, well-built blond man, half-whispers in my ear. When I respond “No Thank you”, he makes the same request of the woman next to me and then the woman next to her. It’s a common pick-up line here at Paddles “the friendly S&M club,” where the mating game is played by a different set of rules.
In the dimly lit night club, leather-clad dominatrices abound. Some tell me that they play at these public and private S&M scenarios “just for fun” not to earn a living. But whether a woman considers herself to be a professional dominatrix or not makes no difference to the eager men who cruise the floor. A new visitor learns quickly to address each woman as “mistress” in the hope that one will cast a favorable glance in his direction and choose him to be her “slave.”
Often these “slave volunteers” are just looking for a connection, not necessarily to get laid, but for attention of any kind.When I talk with George, a first timer at Paddles, he tells me that he doesn’t have a particular S&M fantasy but if he sees “the right woman” he would be willing to try anything. Much later, in the back room, 20 people watch while a loud, demanding mistress taunts George as he jerks off.
Others like slightly paunched leisure suited Harry live their S&M as a way of life. Harry has been involved in “the scene” for 40 years. He is 62. Harry has been married twice, is not married now and is semi-retired. When he arrives, Harry respectfully drops to his knees before golden-haired Donny, who with her consort Michael are the Club’s hosts. Donny rewards Harry’s devotion by stripping him naked and chaining him to a raised cross for all to see. She and Mistress Ti bind his cock with rope and put tight clamps on his nipples. They take turns fondling his ass and beating it bright red. Harry clenches his cheeks and takes it like a soldier.
Later, I ask him if in all his experiences anyone has ever drawn his blood. He telIs me that he used to go to the now defunct Club O where a couple of times a mistress named Valerie beat him so hard she drew blood. “I did not like it,” he says very definitely, then adds with a smile, “and I kept going back for more.”
Hosts Donny and her lover Michael met at the infamous Hellfire Club located in Manhattan’s meat-packing district. The couple have been together for four years and they love to play in public.
“We were very active as customers in the S/M cub scene,” Donny explains. “When Club 0 and then Les Scenes closed we decided there was room for a new club. We call Paddles ‘the friendly S&M Club,’ to promote a less hardcore atmosphere where people can actually mingle and not be wallflowers.”
When Donny was still new to the S/M scene, just after she had met Michael, she decided to try life as a professional dominatrix.
“Life as a pro domme just didn’t work for me. I started to lump all men together in one category,- they were all wimps because for that one hour a week that is what they wanted to be. The only man that I could relate to on a personal level was Michael. So I realized the danger for me of being a professional was to dislike half the population. Some women can handle that. But then a lot of professional mistresses are lesbians who do not mind relating to men in this way.
“The club atmosphere is a much better fit for me than an S/M parlor. If a man spends $100 for a session in a dungeon he doesn’t want to spend the first ten minutes getting personally acquainted. He wants to do his scene, get off and get out. In a club, there is not that pressure. We can relate to each other as people, not just sex objects. And we can still play.”
Following Harry’s mock crucifixion our hosts announce Paddles’ S&M version of TV’s The Dating Game. The torture rack has been turned to the side and a white drape hung from one arm. On one side of the drape sits Donny, microphone in hand. On the other side are the three male contestants: a sweating, bearded man with no shirt, a fellow wearing a pig mask and a lovely transvestite. The game fizzles out. None of the contestants know the answers to the questions posed by Donny, such as “If mead is the nectar of the gods, what is the nectar of the goddesses?” The contestants are baffled. A shower of piss on their heads could been a good clue, but since none is provided, Michael supplies the answer— “Urine”—in a booming voice over the microphone.
“I choose Michael, slave number four,” laughs Donny, and then adds regretfully, “No, I guess not.” At Paddles, Donny is always dominant. Donny and Michael’s own exhibitionism is now reserved for the Hellfire Club where they can be dominant or submissive with each other as they choose without the responsibilities of Paddles.
“A lot of the slaves here fantasize that I am dominant all of the time” says Michael. “But I’m not.”
My own feelings about bondage/discipline/dominance/submission (bdsm)have evolved. When I began to explore my sexuality, s/m role play helped free me from the shackles of religion. After a while, I found the power dynamics of kink and the emphasis on permission no longer liberating.Could fetishes and fantasy role-playing, sex as theater,
separate people rather than bring them closer together? But the people at Paddles all seem to be having a good time. They have found a way to communicate, a sexual language. Many may have no idea of what they are doing but they are making contact . I decide to play inquiring reporter and ask some of the club’s guests more details about what they are into.
